Five Years

Five years.  Five years ago today I stood alone in the quiet calm Neuroscience lab at Connecticut College running tests again and again, 20 times that day, not able to focus on a single second.  It was Winter break and the building was empty.  Any other day this would be my sanctuary.  A glorious opportunity to focus on everything I had to get done before the undergrads returned to the lab, bringing with them a world of college life, boyfriend gossip and where the best party was gonna be that night.  But that day it was different.  No distractions around me, but every distraction in the world going on in my mind.  Stopping then starting again, staring into the distance then shaking myself back to reality.  

Getting home I frantically scrambled around my teeny apartment picking out the best outfit, blow-drying my hair making sure every strand fell perfectly into place.  Then finally, oh so finally, sitting at the first dinner I’d ever have with the man I was to spend the rest of my life with.  He was the chef and owner of the two best restaurants in town, and man was I nervous.  We sat at a dimly lit table against the wall, and thank God for that because he wasn’t able to see my hands fidgeting non-stop on my lap. 

We talked about everything.  Life, dreams, goals.  The attainable and the unattainable.  We talked of the past and of the future.  Then, we talked of Melt Sandwich Shop.  Sure it didn’t have a name at the time, or a concept for that matter, but it had sandwiches.  Sandwiches that would be so good and so different.  It had no plan, nothing written down.  It was all just an idea Bill had had forever yet had never had anyone to share it with.  Five years ago, his dream officially became mine. 

People always ask me if I miss Neuroscience.  If I’ll ever go back to “doing what I love”.  I always answer with a polite laugh and say sure I miss it and sure I loved it, but I’ll never go back.  The truth is, I could never even imagine going back.  The dream that has become Melt Sandwich Shop is far too big and far to amazing to even think that my life could ever have been anything else.  Five years and we’re still only getting started.  This morning I stood in our shop.  Our sandwich shop that now has a concept, and a name, and food that blows all other places out of the water.  I answered the phone and I took an order.  I threw some freshly marinated chicken on the grill and I cut and wrapped sandwiches that made my mouth water.  I looked at my husband and we laughed.  Well, first we argued about the food order I was about to place, and as always my decision won out, then we laughed.  Then I remembered that this all began with just a dream, five years ago today.